What would you go back and tell your 15-year-old self?

I saw my best friend at the weekend and she suggested this question for a blog post idea.  And as someone who knew me when I was 15, she'll know if my answers don't add up (so no pressure)!

Firstly, I have to try and remember what I was like when I was 15.  It was 26 years ago, after all.  Much like now, I was very quiet with people I didn't know.  I hated being the centre of attention and loathed being asked to answer questions in class.  I remember the encompassing dread I felt when my English class was told we each had to stand and make a presentation to the class.  Public speaking was not my forté!  I also remember that we never had to do it, in fact, as the class was so naughty and disruptive, we managed to delay the teacher sufficiently to postpone it permanently.

Apart from being quiet, I remember little things seeming to have importance out of all proportion - for example, crying with rage because my fringe wouldn't 'go right'.  Really.

So what would I go back and tell my fifteen-year-old self?  In no particular order:

• Don't sweat the small stuff.  No-one else cares if your fringe is sticking up on one side.  (My hair is never perfect.  I can live with it.)
• You are never going to use matrices in normal life, so don't panic when they try to put you down to the next maths group.  Your maths will be sufficient for a working life spent mostly in accounts (I might not mention that bit, though - my fifteen-year-old self may well have a meltdown at the thought of such a future).
• You are not fat.  One day (26 years later, say) you will look back and wish you were still that size.
• Stop wishing to be taller.  It's not going to happen.
• Don't go to the A-level certificate evening.  The humiliation of your horrible form tutor announcing to the entire hall that 'Louise is currently unemployed - any offers?' will linger for a long time.
• You're right to think your relationship with your parents will be improved by leaving home.  Sad, but true.
• Work harder.  I was the mistress of the 'revise-right-before-the-exam-only' technique.  It shows in my grades.
• Be more tolerant of people who don't grasp what you're saying right away.  One day you will realise that there are far greater qualities in human beings than a quick mind.
• Stop waiting for good things to happen to you.  Make the things you already have good.
• Trust your instincts.  If it feels wrong, don't do it, no matter who you disappoint.
• Don't suppress your creative side.  It will find its way out!
• In spite of what you hope, you're never really going to feel grown up.  But you will have the right to walk away from a situation that makes you uncomfortable.  You may never do it, but knowing you can helps.
• Finally, to myself and my lovely friend - the permed hair.  Don't do it.  Nothing else to add.

I'm sure there are many more things Louise aged 15 needed to know, but I'm pretty sure I'm still learning, so ask me in another 26 years!

(An old, poor quality photo scanned and cropped, of myself and my friend - I'm the one on the left!)


What would you go back and tell your fifteen-year-old self?

Book Review: The Story Guy by Mary Ann Rivers and City of Glass by Cassandra Clare

First up this week is a novella by Mary Ann Rivers, The Story Guy.  I'm not sure how to categorise this one - probably contemporary romance (something I almost never read).

I'd never heard of this author.  I found her while trawling for new authors (I do this a lot since getting the Kindle - it's usually less expensive to try out a new author, and you can often download a free sample to see if you like their writing style.  In this case, the price was so reasonable, I decided to give the whole thing a go).

In her thirties, living alone, and still holidaying with her parents, Carrie is starting to feel dissatisfied with her life.  Her friends are in happy relationships, and although she knows her life is good, it's also just a little too safe and boring, and deep down she's lonely.  She enjoys reading personal ads placed by men who seem to have a 'real' voice to her - nothing glossy and superficial, just honest, often painful insights into their lives.  She never replies.  Until the day she sees something a little more intriguing than usual.  It begins: I will meet you on Wednesdays at noon in Celebration Park.  Kissing Only.  Before she has a chance to talk herself out of it, she's replied and agreed to meet him on Wednesday.

When she does muster her courage and go to meet Brian on that first Wednesday, to find that he's kind and passionate - not to mention gorgeous - of course she wonders why he's restricting himself to this small window of contact.  And she wants more.  As does Brian, apparently, but he won't allow himself to take more.  And as they start to fall in love - and, naturally, can't resist contacting each other outside of those Wednesday interludes - you find out why Brian can't take - or give - more.  And my goodness, was I ever glad I work from home.  I often read while I'm eating my lunch, and sobbing into my sandwiches with an audience would have been most embarrassing!  I can't remember the last time I read a book that made me cry like that.  Brian's struggle is beautifully drawn, and Carrie is no two-dimensional character either.  I defy anyone to read this, and not be sucked in by the characters.  It is a well-written love story (and the love scenes are fairly hot, so be warned) by an author I'm going to be reading again, and I highly recommend it.

5/5 stars.


Secondly, we have the third in The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare - City of Glass.  It's a young adult urban fantasy series.

Again, I can't give much away with my review, in case you've yet to read the first two in the series.  There is still much of Clary jumping into situations without considering the consequences.  She is still only sixteen, so I can forgive her that a little, and the things she has gone through in these three books do seem to have made her grow up and make hard decisions that your average sixteen-year-old probably wouldn't need to, so I'm happy with the development of her character.  Jace is still witty and gorgeous, along with a newly-acquired streak of self-loathing that makes him even more interesting.  And Simon (Clary's friend) has no choice but to grow up fast, thanks to the events of the previous books.  I love the way his character has been drawn, and how Clare uses the plot to put him under pressure and prove his worth.  There are nice little sub-plots featuring the supporting cast of characters and you never feel as if they're just page-fillers.

There's plenty of peril in the book, and you're never sure the characters are going to survive it - something I think is important in a series of this nature.  I used to be a (huge!) fan of the Anita Blake books by Laurell K Hamilton, but she lost me when it became apparent that, in spite of the cast of characters becoming ridiculously large, none of the main characters would ever die.  I don't mean I like my series peppered with painful killings-off of my favourite characters, but if you know Anita's going to save the day every single time, the tension is gone, and tension is the second thing after characters that I value in a novel.  And never mind the fact that Anita turned into an uber-slut at the same time ... but I digress.  (Again!)

This book concerns the villain Valentine and his quest to obtain the third and final Mortal Instrument and his plans to wipe out all opposition when he does.  And of course the quest of our heroes to stop him doing that.  It's fairly standard heroes and villains fare, but it's nicely done and I like the world-building and the characters.  If you don't mind reading YA - and it's not dumbed-down in any way - you might want to give these a try.

4.5/5 stars


It has occurred to me that I'm really only reviewing books I've enjoyed.  The reason for this is that if I really don't enjoy a book, I don't finish it.  Life is too short (and there are too many great books out there) to waste it on less than stellar books.  And I feel that I shouldn't really review a book if I haven't read it in its entirety.  So I may just include a little DNF (did not finish) section, with a few words about why I didn't finish the book and my rating for the part I did read.

This week's DNF:

Tempest Rising by Nicole Peeler.

I really wanted to like this!  An urban fantasy by a new-to-me author, it's about Jane True, a woman who doesn't know why she's drawn to swim in the sea over and over, although it's obvious from the start that it has something to do with her departed mother.  It started off well, the writing style was fairly engaging and I didn't hate the protagonist.  But I really, really didn't like the 'love' interest.  The moment he entered the scene, I pretty much switched off.  This is a problem for me.  You all know how I feel about tension - including sexual tension - in a novel, and for me it just wasn't there.  Jane practically rolls over for him - there may be all sorts of reasons for this that I had yet to read, but it bounced me right out of the story and left me feeling somewhat cheated.  Yes, I like the odd smutty book, but I'd rather read a well-written story without a single love scene, than have them included just for the sake of it.  I may try and go back to it, but I'm a picky reader - you don't often get two chances to grab my interest!  So my rating is based on about 40% of the novel.

3/5 stars.

Book Review: The Shadow and the Star by Laura Kinsale

As I'm in the middle of two books right now (paperback for bath-reading and electronic for the rest of the time), I'm going to review one of my favourite books today.

While my favourite genre is without question dark/urban fantasy, I've also long been a fan of romance.  It sounds cheesy - especially historical romance - and much of it is, but there are a few authors whose work I really respect in this field.  One of those is Laura Kinsale.  I struggled to choose which of hers was my favourite, but in the end I went with The Shadow and the Star.  I find her titles a bit ... naff ... if I'm honest, and the cover of my copy reinforces that impression.  It features that huge muscular male model with the long hair who was on so many of the bodice-rippers of the 80's and 90's.  I used to be embarrassed to read them in public; I think perhaps I'm too old to care any more, though!

The cover is - of course- not indicative of what's inside, however.  This was published in 1991, and not discovered by me until years later.  It follows timid, law-abiding seamstress Leda and rich businessman (and martial arts afficionado) Samuel.  I know what you're thinking.  Seriously?  Can anyone say hackneyed plot?  Well, it's a case of suck it and see, with a Laura Kinsale book.  Samuel is most definitely not your typical strong, silent alpha male.  He is (as you would know if you had read her earlier book The Dream Hunter - not necessary, by the way) very damaged.  And filled with self-loathing at the feelings gentle Leda inspires in him.  When he acts on them, almost in spite of himself, she doesn't rebuff him, and it's not entirely because she's so innocent that she doesn't understand what's happening.  Some small part of her wants something beautiful for herself, even for a fleeting moment.

Of course, even fleeting moments have consequences when it's 1887 in London.  And much of the book tells the tale of how their lives change when they have to deal with those consequences.  Samuel still believes it is wrong that he wants to touch Leda and she struggles with the almost subservient nature her upbringing (and social station) has left her with, to try and make him see that it isn't.  We see how the characters fall in love, and how Leda begins to heal Samuel in her own quiet way.  Laura Kinsale has a rare talent for making her characters unique.  I've lost count of how many romances I've read which could have had various characters from other books dropped in and out without me even noticing.  But Kinsale's characters really do have their own voice and their own distinct nature.  And you're not told Leda feels x because of y, you're shown.  Which, to me, is how a good book should be written.

There is a minor suspense plot that creates some peril for the characters and enables the story to be wrapped up.  I've never been entirely sure that it was necessary, although it does prompt Samuel to reveal his feelings, so perhaps it was.

Anyway, if you like romances with beautifully-drawn characters, some plausible angst, a little well-stirred sexual tension and a few touching love scenes, you might want to give The Shadow and the Star a try.  You may also like Flowers from the Storm by the same author - another woeful title (in my opinion), but a heart-wrenching love story about a Quaker and a nobleman who has suffered a stroke - something which had yet to be diagnosed back then, and was seen as madness.

5/5 stars.

Colour Choices

I was scraping around in my brain (ugh - that sounds unpleasantly Hannibal Lector-esque) for blog post inspiration last week, and one of my lovely Facebook followers asked what makes me choose certain colour combinations and why I choose silver over bronze or other materials, or vice versa.

Well.  It's not an entirely easy question to answer.  Mostly, it seems pretty random to me.  Or maybe intuitive, although that's implying I always get it right!  Sometimes, particularly when I'm making wire pendants, I choose colours based on what I'm trying to represent, so I don't really have to think too hard about them, just select the nearest shade from my HUGE collection of seed beads.  And sometimes I'm trying to match something, e.g. an item of clothing, like with these stunning beads by Claire-Louise Patrick of Ciel Creations, which could almost have been made for my new skirt.

I've also been known to take inspiration from pretty much anything around me - from the sky to wrapping paper.  I remember making a pendant inspired by the colours in a cushion in the caravan we holidayed in a couple of years ago!

I love the site Design Seeds for inspiring colour palettes.  When I was making bracelets from orphan lampwork beads a while back, I chose several palettes, selected beads in those colours and put them together, like my Hydrangea bracelet.

If you're lacking inspiration, this is a great site - there are so many colour combinations I would never have thought of using.

And the other question - what makes me choose silver, bronze, copper, gold etc. for the metal components in my jewellery?  Unless it's a commission, I often weigh up how warm or cool I think the beads I'm using are, and use silver for cool and (usually) bronze for warm.  But not always!  Sometimes I like to ring the changes and do it the other way round.  Which, I realise, is not really much of an answer, but that's how the creative process works for me!

 

 Water Nymph

 

The Stream That Stood Still

 Eternal Love

Take the three examples above.  Silver was the natural choice for the Water Nymph earrings, with those cool-hued lampwork beads with their splashes of silver.  And I could have gone the same way with The Stream That Stood Still, as they're also smattered with silver, but that glorious greyish-green seemed to be calling out for warm bronze findings.  And pink is perfect with silver, but I wanted to give the Eternal Love earrings a warm glow, and again bronze seemed the right choice.  I still think all three pairs would be lovely paired with different metals, but I'm happy with my choices! :)

So, there's nothing scientific about it (something that wouldn't surprise my science teachers at school, I'm sure - I was so bad my physics partner decided to go it alone, rather than continuing her project in partnership with yours truly!  She was justified, by the way - I never did get that circuit to work.)

What makes you choose certain colour combinations?  Or is it all a bit random? :)


Links:

Design Seeds

My Facebook page

Ciel Creations

Friday Book Review

I have 3 books to review this week.

First up is On The Island by Tracey Garvis Graves.

This is the story of Anna, a 30-year-old teacher, and T.J., the teenager recovering from cancer whom she is going to spend the summer tutoring on an island in the Maldives.  Without giving anything away (it happens quite soon after the start of the book and the title's something of a clue!), they are involved in a plane crash, which results in the pair of them being stranded on a deserted island.  They're then plunged into a desperate race for survival.  I was gripped right from that point - how do you even fulfill the most basic need to find water when you're surrounded by millions of gallons of it that you can't drink?  Life on the island is not all swimming and sunbathing; it's hard graft just to survive.  Add to that the loneliness, grief and often despair that they feel, and it's a painful ride.  But it's a beautiful one, too.  In spite of the age gap, you can see what a great team they make, and as T.J becomes a man, and it appears that they will only ever have each other to depend on, it's natural for them to fall in love.

But you know as you're reading it that it can't last forever - they're fighting a constant battle against the elements as well as illness, not to mention the malnutrition caused by their limited diet.  I spent most of the book in an agony of suspense, and I'm not going to spoil the ending for you.  But it was without question worth reading.  It's written as if the story is told in alternating chapters by the two main characters, and I felt this gave the story an added layer, to get both viewpoints as the story progressed.  Yes, I did find myself thinking of both Castaway and The Blue Lagoon, but I thought it offered something different in the characters themselves, more than the setting.  I loved it, and it's gone into my 'faves' folder on my Kindle ... 5/5 stars.


Next up is City of Ashes: Book II of The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare.

This is a YA (young adult series) which began with City of Bones - a book I enjoyed a LOT more than I expected to.  I can't say too much about this book without giving away major spoilers from the first book, but the main protagonist is teenager Clary, and while we see most of the story from her viewpoint, we do get some insight into the other characters' minds, too.  I don't read much YA (being a looong way past that myself, of course!) but I find Clare's writing compelling.  The characters are complex and the story generally doesn't pull any punches, so it's easy to forget that it's aimed at the teen market.  I didn't find this story quite as gripping as the first, but still head and shoulders above much of the adult urban fantasy out there.  (And if you follow me on Facebook, you'll know I was underwhelmed by the big screen adaptation of the first one, which I saw last weekend - I really should have stuck with the books!)  I'm looking forward to reading the next one.  4/5 stars.


Lastly, we have Working for the Devil by Lilith Saintcrow.

Firstly, let me just say that I hate this cover.  My paperback has the original cover, and it's much prettier - embossed with lots of demonic sigils and the like.  But I couldn't find that image, sadly.  Secondly, isn't Lilith Saintcrow the most fabulous name?  And her real one, too.  Anyway, I digress ...

If you follow my blog, you'll know that I've fairly recently gone to the 'dark side' and bought myself a Kindle, so I'm consuming electronic books voraciously.  However, I like to read in the bath, and I do NOT trust myself near water with an electronic device, so I'm happy that I can still read the old-school way every day.  I'm being judicious with the amount of 'real' books I buy now - after all, a large part of the reason for buying the Kindle was the space issue in our bursting-at-the-seams-with-books house.  So I'm rereading some of my immense collection.  Currently, the Dante Valentine series by Lilith Saintcrow..  Working for the Devil is the first one.

Dante (Danny) Valentine is a necromance.  She can raise the dead, and does so for profit.  Or, if not quite profit, enough money to pay her mortgage and allow her to eat.  The book begins with a demon knocking on her front door and pointing a gun in her face with the demand that she follow him to Hell, because the Prince (the Devil) has a non-negotiable job for her.  From then on, Danny's life (which clearly has an angst-filled backstory, glimpses of which we are shown throughout) seems to spiral into something approaching chaos.  Although you get the feeling it's (almost) all in a day's work for her.  I liked the story, the world-building, and most of all, the characters.  It's always the characters that make or break a book for me.  And more than Danny's character, I was riveted by that of Japhrimel, the demon bonded as a familiar to Danny by the Prince.  In spite of his power and willingness to use it, he is taciturn and implacable for much of the story, but he is not the typical alpha male character.  All the characters were well-developed and interesting, but Japhrimel was something a little out of the ordinary.  Again, I can't say much without spoiling the story, but I remember finishing this and immediately ordering the rest in the series.  I still love it, so that's definitely one paperback that won't be consigned to the charity shop any time soon.  (It's unlikely any of my rereads will have less than a five star rating, by the way, unless they're interim books in a series - after all, why would I want to reread them otherwise?) 5/5 stars.

My favourite piece?

I was asked by one of my lovely followers what I would consider to be my favourite piece of jewellery.  Well, I'm sure it's not quite like asking someone which of their children is their favourite, but it's pretty tough, nonetheless!  It's particularly difficult, because, as my style evolves and I achieve new things, I become quite fond of the new pieces.  The only thing I can say for sure is that it will be a wire pendant - I'm very attached to some of my pictorial pendant designs.  So I think I will just show you the evolution of the picture pendants, with a few of my favourites along the way.  And I'll end with the one that is probably (maybe) my current favourite - until next week, anyway. ;)

This is where the obsession fascination with creating wearable wire pictures began.  When I was a child I loved making little nature dioramas, complete with tiny mirrors for lakes and moss for grass etc.  It occured me one evening how cool it would be if I could do something similar with a pendant.  And this was what I made:

Awful night-time photography aside, it's pretty basic.  Just a simple wire fish, some stone chips, twisted bugle beads for weed and tiny moonstones for bubbles.  But I was still quite excited when I'd finished - it was an underwater scene!

I progressed to this sort of thing - the fish are woven, of course, and the seaweed is more sophisticated, but the basic design is similar.

I was, of course, still mildly (!) obsessed with trees, and making them look like specific types of tree, like this olive tree.

And this is the very first pendant with a woven backdrop; I'm still a little bit in love with those glorious sunset colours.  It was inspired (of course) by the sky, with lots of mental wrangling over how I could depict a sunset.  I had a bit of a light-bulb moment, and this opened the way for many more scenes.

And then came the sheepsies ... I have an unwritten rule that I almost never use actual shaped beads or charms in my pendants, because of course I like to make life difficult for myself, and insist I create them myself from beads or wire!  I'm not tired of the sheep yet ...

So hopefully you can see the progression of my picture pendants over the last few years.  I think this is currently one of my favourites, as it just has so much in it (including my beloved sheepsies):

Book Review: Sheltered by Charlotte Stein

I've decided to start reviewing books as I finish them, although I read fast, so I may not get round to reviewing every one I read.  I'm also going to try to get to grips with Goodreads - it was suggested to me that I might want to use the app, and after faffing around for a while trying to set up an account, I realised I already had one - d'oh!  It seems important that my ratings at least should reach the authors themselves - after all, they're the ones who've put in all that hard work for our reading pleasure, and I'm sure the feedback is valuable to them.

So, my first review.  This was my first book by Charlotte Stein - I saw it recommended on another blog and I decided to give it a go.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to review this book - particularly as my first - as it falls under the heading of erotica, and I'm just a little bit of a chicken.  But then I remembered that I don't believe anyone should ever apologise for their taste in books, art or music.  If someone has created it, and you like it, it has value.

So, the book is Sheltered by Charlotte Stein.  The main character is a nineteen year old girl/woman called Eve, who has spent her entire life under the controlling and abusive thumb of her father - and I do mean abusive.  Her restricted life begins to change when she meets a tattooed, pierced pot-smoking art student at her garden gate.  Sounds like a cliché, right?  Introverted girl meets bad boy with a heart of gold and he awakens her sexuality, leading to lots of energetic romping in the sack and thus freeing her from her old life?  Well, not quite.  For a start, he's not a bad boy.  Appearance aside - and the reasons for that will become clear later in the book - Van is gentle and kind.  Oh, and smoking hot.

Eve and Van's developing relationship is written beautifully - with all the attendant awkwardness that is crucial to their individual characters.  I'm not going to lie; I like the odd smutty book.  But more than that, I appreciate some finely crafted sexual tension.  And this book has it in spades.  The hot, tender scenes as they are tentatively exploring their feelings for each other are just beautiful.  If you don't like explicit love scenes, don't buy this book.  They're emotionally raw and naked, as well as physically.  But I think Charlotte Stein has done a spot-on job of bringing these two hurting characters together and making a beautiful love story.  My one small gripe would be that it's not the longest book in the world, but what it lacks in length it makes up for in intensity.  I'm still thinking about these characters, and that's always my measure for how much I've enjoyed a book.  You can write the most amazing plot in the world, but if the characters don't touch me, I'm unlikely to remember the book, and I certainly won't reread it.

So if you do like the sound of it, here's a link.  Please, please ignore the truly awful cover - I don't know whose idea that was, but it's not indicative of either the contents or the actual character descriptions.  Link: Sheltered by Charlotte Stein.